


adapt

by orphan_account



Series: 30 weeks of writing prompts [29]
Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Christmas Lights, Domestic Fluff, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Romantic Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-09
Updated: 2020-04-09
Packaged: 2021-02-28 22:27:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,206
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23224747
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: this is the story of how dan grew to love neon lights (week 29 of my 30 weeks of prompts challenge: neon)
Relationships: Dan Howell & Phil Lester, Dan Howell/Phil Lester
Series: 30 weeks of writing prompts [29]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1495385
Kudos: 5





	adapt

The screen of teenage Dan’s clunky computer glowed a neon blue as it powered on. It took three million years for Dan to access YouTube via the computer but YouTube videos were always worth the trouble of dealing with slow technology. There was a notification in his subscription box that told him the YouTuber amazingphil had uploaded a new video.

Gasping with excitement, Dan quickly clicked on the video and Phil’s cheerful face appeared on his screen. The YouTuber waved and cheerfully exclaimed, “Hi everybody! Phil here. I hope you all had a good week. My week was kinda weird and let me tell you why!” 

As Phil launches into a story about how some lady tried to feed some pigeons bread but only succeeded in getting the pigeons to chase after Phil. Dan chuckled at Phil’s story, and while he was watching the video, he can’t help but wish there wasn’t a neon screen between him and Phil.

Little did teenage Dan know that in a few years, the neon screen between him and Phil would be gone. The first time Dan and Phil met, Dan noticed how eccentric Phil was. Phil has greeted him with a giant hug that was so fond that Dan melted in his arms.

In addition to radiating a teddy bear warmth and a chocolatey tenderness, Phil also radiated a neon excitement that lit up the energy in whatever room he walked into. Experiencing Phil in real life was very different from watching him from behind a screen but when Phil slipped his hand into Dan’s while they were walking around the park in Manchester. Phil didn’t alert Dan before holding his hand but Dan didn’t mind the slightest as he watched Phil point to a park bench, “That’s where the pigeon story happened!”

Somewhere along their friendship, Dan and Phil became more than friends, but that shift was practically unnoticeable as they had always been close. Over the next few years, they moved in together, Dan started a YouTube channel, and suddenly, Dan and Phil became an internet phenomenon.

Now that Dan and Phil gained the attention of the internet, Dan felt as if he was being placed under a spotlight with hundreds of fans scrutinizing every action he made. This was detrimental to Dan’s mental health and he slowly began pushing Phil away, scared that people would find out that Dan was dating Phil.

Phil seemed to finally have noticed Dan’s strange and distant behavior because one day, while Dan was editing a video, Phil walked into Dan’s room and sat on his bed. Dan eventually sensed his presence and turned around to face his boyfriend, who looked more worn than Dan had ever seen him. “Phil, what’s up?”

“Dan. You’ve been… acting weird lately. Am I doing something wrong?” Phil asked timidly, glancing down at his hands that he clasped together. He was never the best at confrontation so the fact that he was making the effort to talk to Dan directly about this meant that it had been on his mind for a while.

“It’s not you. It’s- I’m- I just don’t want the people to know. It’s just tiring with everybody’s expectations,” Dan ran a hand down his face as he tried to explain himself. He knew him stumbling over his words didn’t help his case when he saw Phil’s carefully neutral expression start to crumble.

“I know this is all really new to you. This relationship, YouTube, London, everything. So, do you think taking a break will help?” It was hard to read Phil’s expression but Dan couldn’t bear to look Phil in the eyes.

“Actually, yes. A break might be good for me to clear my head.”

The pain is obvious in Phil’s aquamarine eyes and as much Dan wants to take his words back, he knows that a break is what was best for both of them. Without another word, Phil stands up and walks out of the bedroom. Dan heard Phil’s bedroom door slam shut, which led him to stop editing for a second and peek out of his door. 

He carefully approached Phil’s bedroom door, pressing a tentative ear against the door to hear what was going on. Dan knows he shouldn’t invade Phil’s privacy but he had a feeling that Phil wouldn’t be doing great after that conversation.

Dan hears Phil yelling at himself, “Fuck! Phil, you’re so fucking stupid. Dan doesn’t want you. You’re a fucking idiot.”

Radioactive red seeps out between the cracks of the door and Dan feels Phil’s anger and disappointment stain his hands that he has placed against the door. The muffled yelling de-escalated into deep sobbing. Hearing Phil’s pain was comparable to somebody driving a knife into Dan’s stomach and twisting it around. Dan leaned just back against Phil’s door, covering his mouth to silence his own sobs as he listened to Phil cry on the other side of the door.

“And that was it? That was it for you and Phil?” Dan’s therapist inquires as she takes down notes of what he’s telling her.

“I mean, obviously we’re still friends. But in the romantic area, it’s been weird lately. I think I still have a chance but I don’t know if he wants it again. I feel like I hurt him pretty badly,” Dan sighs, staring at the ceiling dejectedly. He’s been over all the possible scenarios in his head a thousand times and none of the results were satisfactory.

“It’s been years since you last fought over love. You both obviously cared for each other, which is why you made the decision you did. I recommend trying again. From what I’ve heard, Phil is a forgiving person and I’m certain he has already put the past behind him.”

Dan lets out a sigh that’s way too big to fit in his chest, “Yeah, you’re right.”

So, a week later, Dan and Phil are shopping together before Christmas, and Dan decides to follow his therapist’s advice. 

The Christmas lights glowing a comforting neon accompanied by the Christmas carols ringing through the air and other assorted festive decorations set the perfect mood that Dan wanted. He and Phil are walking side by side, chatting about New Year’s Resolutions, and he can’t help but notice how Phil’s hand is empty and resting by his side.

“And this upcoming year, I promise I will buy my own cereal,” Phil determinedly claims with a dead-serious expression on his face. 

Dan chuckles in response and slips his hand into Phil’s smoothly. His heart feels like it’s going to break his rib-cage but he still casually jokes, “If you stick to that statement for the first week of the new year, that’ll already be amazing.”

“Well, I’ll try really hard this upcoming year. I promise I won’t let you down,” Phil meets Dan’s eyes as he squeezes Dan’s hand reassuringly. Dan knows that Phil isn’t talking about the cereal anymore, so he plays along.

“I think things will work out this time. We’ll both find a way to adapt and make it work,” Dan replies firmly. Phil nods in agreement and while they don’t talk about it further, they both know that they’re both willing to try again.

**Author's Note:**

> you can find me on tumblr[@luckysam78](https://luckysam78.tumblr.com/)! my bfu sideblog is [@tinsley-goldsworth](https://tinsley-goldsworth.tumblr.com/)! comments and kudos are greatly appreciated!


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